Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Premier League transfer blockbusters

Andrei Arshavin


Who: Russia’s Euro 2008 playmaker is being courted by Tottenham and Barcelona, with Arsenal and Chelsea also monitoring him. Arshavin wants to move to Barcelona.
Where it’s at: Zenit St Petersburg say they have still to receive ’suitable, interesting offers’ for the 27-year-old, though Arshavin has protested that they are pricing him out of a move.
Deal prospects: 70 per cent – Tottenham have the cash after selling Robbie Keane.
Price: £20 million.

Robinho

Who: The Brazilian forward has become the odd man out at Real Madrid. Luiz Felipe Scolari wants him to add flair to the Stamford Bridge squad.
Where it’s at:
Chelsea have made offers of £25 million and £27 million, only to see his price escalate with each bid. Real are ready to do business at £30 million.
Deal prospects: 80 per cent – Robinho is keen to move and Chelsea are determined to do the deal.
Price: £30 million.

Dimitar Berbatov

Who: Manchester United want the Tottenham forward to ease Wayne Rooney’s workload.
Where it’s at: United have offered £20 million for the Bulgarian, Spurs want more than £30 million. Deteriorating relations between the clubs, with Spurs reporting United to the Premier League, have left the transfer in limbo.
Deal prospects: 70 per cent – Berbatov has been agitating for a move for months and Tottenham will not want an unhappy player undermining team spirit.
Price: £32 million.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Who: Barely a day goes by without Real Madrid publicly talking up their hopes of signing the Manchester United forward.
Where it’s at: United say Ronaldo is not for sale. The club owners, the Glazer family, support that stance and United have still not received a bid from Real for a player whose ankle injury will sideline him until October.
Deal prospects: 10 per cent – It would require a humiliating climbdown by United for any deal to be done.
Price: £75 million.

Other sagas

Gareth Barry

Who: The proposed transfer of Barry from Aston Villa to Liverpool has become a soap opera this summer.
Where it's at:
Liverpool's £19 million capture of Robbie Keane has put a spanner in the works.
Deal prospects: 25 per cent – there will have to be several outgoing transfers before Rafael Benitez is able to fund his attempts to sign the England midfielder.
Price: £18 million.

James Harper

Who: Midfielder James Harper has been the subject of many covetous eyes since Reading were relegated.
Where it's at:
Middlesbrough are interested but have perfected the art of transfer-window brinkmanship.
Deal prospects: 65 per cent – Lee Cattermole's move from the Riverside to Wigan is likely to oil the wheels.
Price: £5 million.

Steeve Malbranque

Who: Surplus to Spurs' requirements, Malbranque soon emerged as one of Roy Keane's top summer targets at Sunderland.
Where it's at: His former Tottenham team-mates Pascal Chimbonda and Teemu Tainio have already moved to Wearside and Sunderland are working tigerishly behind the scenes to make it a hat-trick of arrivals from north London.
Deal prospects: 60 per cent – More often than not the Sunderland manager's powers of persuasion end up with him getting his man.
Price: £7 million.

Bargains

Steven Pienaar

Cost: £2 million.
When?
April 30.
Why a bargain? Pienaar was a crucial member of the Everton squad while on loan last season. If he can build on his solid start, the South African could become one of the Premier League's top midfielders.

Mark Schwarzer

Cost: Free.
When?
May 21.
Why a bargain? This was a real coup for Fulham as Schwarzer has been one of the best goalkeepers in the country for some years, and he rejected Juventus and Bayern Munich. At 35, the Australian has at least three more good years ahead of him.

Giovanni dos Santos

Cost: £4.7 million, rising to £8.6 million.
When?
June 10.
Why a bargain? This transfer almost passed under the radar, but the 19-year-old Giovanni was rated by Barcelona as being as promising a prospect as Lionel Messi. The Mexican can set the Premier League alight if he plays regularly for Tottenham this season.

Deco

Cost: £7.8 million.
When? June 30.
Why a bargain? To secure a player like Deco for well under £10 million has to be good business. The former Barcelona playmaker might have struggled last season but, at 30, he is still young and hungry enough to rediscover his former panache.

Paul Robinson

Cost: £3.5 million.
When? July 25.
Why a bargain? Robinson's form and confidence plummeted last season, as he lost his place for Spurs and England, but he should be rejuvenated by a move to Blackburn. For a man who was England's established No 1 only a year ago, £3.5 million could prove a steal.

Dave Kitson

Cost: £5.5 million.
When? July 18.
Why a bargain? Not the cheapest of buys, but Kitson will more than repay his transfer fee if he keeps promoted Stoke afloat this season. The former Reading forward, as adept on the ground as he is in the air, could do just that.

£231m: The total amount spent by Premier League clubs so far this summer.

£475m: The total amount spent by Premier League clubs in the whole of last summer.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Software Daakoo

Gabbar sends Kaaliaand two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and started shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]:"Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."

Kaalia:"Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"

Thakur:"Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai, Ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says: "jaao kaalia,Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya ."

AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar:"Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar:"Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi."

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar:"Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai." [logout - logout - logout]. "Haan ab theek hai...ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia:"Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!


credits: hardstone


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Premier League: club-by-club 2008/09

ARSENAL


Story so far
Arsene Wenger has lost Mathieu Flamini, Alexander Hleb is set to depart and the future of Emmanuel Adebayor remains clouded. Yet only two signings have been made, with Aaron Ramsey unlikely to feature often. Samir Nasri should fill the void left by Flamini but doubts remain over their strength in depth.


Summer headache
Adebayor speculation.


Needs
A striker. Andrei Arshavin remains a possibility, while Gareth Barry has emerged as a potential midfield target.


Number crunch
14 - Theo Walcott's new shirt number.


Transfers
In: Samir Nasri (Marseille, £12m), Aaron Ramsey (Cardiff, £5m).
Out: Mathieu Flamini (AC Milan), Jens Lehmann (Stuttgart), Kerrea Gilbert (Leicester, season loan).

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ASTON VILLA

Story so far
Steve Sidwell has been signed from Chelsea to replace the outgoing Gareth Barry. Villa have also bid for Blackburn's David Bentley. With Scott Carson gone, they need a goalkeeper with American stopper Brad Guzan high on the list of summer targets.


Summer headache
Never-ending Gareth Barry transfer saga.


Needs
After losing Olof Mellberg, Villa could try to sign Anton Ferdinand.


Number crunch
7 - The number of league starts for Sidwell last term.


Transfers
In: Curtis Davies (WBA, £8m), Steve Sidwell (Chelsea, £5m).
Out: Luke Moore (WBA, £3m to £3.5m), Patrik Berger (Sparta Prague), Olof Mellberg (Juventus).
Released: Thomas Sorensen.

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BLACKBURN ROVERS


Story so far
'Sparky' has gone and the Guv'nor is in charge. But following Mark Hughes' departure to Manchester City, new manager Paul Ince faces a difficult introduction to life at the top, particularly with the vultures hovering over Ewood Park trying to pick off the cream of his team.


Summer headache
Keeping David Bentley (pictured), Roque Santa Cruz.


Needs
Replacements for Bentley and possibly Santa Cruz. Paul Robinson could fill the gap left by keeper Brad Friedel.


Number crunch
77 - League games in which Ince has been a manager with Macclesfield and MK Dons.


Transfers
In: None.
Out: None.
Released: Bruno Berner, Rafael De Vita, Peter Enckelman, Stephane Henchoz.

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BOLTON WANDERERS


Story so far
Gary Megson saved Bolton from relegation last season and has made two astute signings. Johan Elmander has a good scoring record for Sweden and has been signed to replace Nicolas Anelka. Sporting Lisbon striker Simon Vukcevic is another transfer target.


Summer headache
Want-away striker El Hadji Diouf.


Needs
New blood in midfield after releasing Stelios and Ivan Campo.


Number crunch
5 - The number of countries Elmander will have played in when he makes his Bolton debut.


Transfers
In: Johan Elmander (Toulouse, £10m + swap), Fabrice Muamba (Birmingham, £5.5m).
Out: Daniel Braaten (Toulouse, swap), Andranik Teymourian (Fulham).
Released: Ivan Campo, Mark Ellis, Stelios Giannakopoulos, Johann Smith, Les Thompson.

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CHELSEA


Story so far
Runners-up in the league, Champions League and Carling Cup, so 'Big Phil' Scolari faces the challenge of bringing back the silverware. But only two players have arrived so far.


Summer headache
Frank Lampard's contract.


Needs
With Andrei Shevchenko set to leave and Didier Drogba (pictured) uncertain of staying, Chelsea could move for Robinho.


Number crunch
82 - The number of games Chelsea are unbeaten at Stamford Bridge in the Premier League.


Transfers
In: Jose Bosingwa (Porto, £16.2m), Deco (Barcelona, £7.9m).
Out: Steve Sidwell (Aston Villa, £5m), Harry Worley (Leicester), Ryan Bertrand (Norwich, SL), Slobodan Rajkovic (FC Twente, SL), Ben Sahar (Portsmouth, 6-month loan, Jimmy Smith (Sheffield W, 6ML).
Released: Hernan Crespo.

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EVERTON


Story so far
After finishing in the top six in three of the last four seasons, David Moyes needs to add to his squad. Lille midfielder Stephan Lichtsteiner wants a move to Goodison and the Swiss right-back is prepared to buy out his contract.


Summer headache
Losing Victor Anichebe to the Olympics.


Needs
If Andy Johnson leaves, Everton need a striker. A midfielder is also a priority.


Number crunch
15 - Number of league goals scored by Yakubu last season.


Transfers
In: None.
Out: Lee Carsley (Birmingham), Darren Dennehy (Cardiff), Jamie Jones (Leyton Orient).

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FULHAM


Story so far
Roy Hodgson produced a near-miracle in keeping Fulham up. Now he has had a major clear-out and brought in seven new faces. Zoltan Gera is the pick.


Summer headache
Adding quality.


Needs
Still short of firepower despite signing Bobby Zamora.


Number crunch
5 - The number of home games won last season.


Transfers
In: David Stockdale (Darlington, £350,000), Zoltan Gera (WBA), Toni Kallio (BSC Young Boys), Mark Schwarzer (Middlesbrough), Andranik Teymourian (Bolton), Bobby Zamora & John Pantsil (West Ham) joint fee of £6.3m.
Out: Bradley Hudson-Odoi (Hereford), Brian McBride (Toronto), Michael Timlin (Swindon Town)
Released: Carlos Bocanegra, Jari Litmanen, Ian Pearce, Bjorn Runstrom, Tony Warner.

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HULL CITY


Story so far
After their shock promotion, Hull manager Phil Brown is looking for experience plus a bit of flair. So the arrival of Geovanni and Bernard Mendy makes sense. Middlesbrough's George Boateng is set to arrive for £1 million while Plymouth winger Peter Halmosi is close to signing.


Summer headache
Losing Henrik Pedersen.


Needs
A proven goalscorer to assist 38-year-old veteran Dean Windass and prove to all the doubters that they can survive.


Number crunch
42 - Hull are the 42nd team to gain Premier status.


Transfers
In: Craig Fagan (Derby, £750,000), Geovanni (Manchester C), Bernard Mendy (PSG).
Out: David Livermore (Brighton), Henrik Pedersen (Silkeborg IF), Ben Wilkinson (York).
Released: Jay-Jay Okocha.

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LIVERPOOL


Story so far
Liverpool have replaced John Arne Riise with Andrea Dossena while Diego Cavalieri has arrived as goalkeeping cover. In addition, experienced Swiss defender Philipp Degen gives Liverpool strength at the back while teenagers strikers Nikola Saric and Vincent Weijl are players for the future


Summer headache
Bids for Gareth Barry and Robbie Keane.


Needs
Fernando Torres should prove a hit again but the Reds need a forward to replace Peter Crouch.


Number crunching
24 -League goals netted by Torres last season.


Transfers
In: Dossena (Udinese, £7m), Cavalieri (Palmeiras, £3m), Nikola Saric (Herfolge, £600,000), Vincent Weijl (AZ Alkmaar, Nominal), Degen (B Dortmund).
Out: Crouch (Portsmouth, £9m rising to £11m), Arne Riise (Roma, £4m), Danny Guthrie (Newcastle, £2.5m), Anthony Le Tallec (Le Mans, £1.1m), Harry Kewell (Galatasaray), Paul Anderson (Nottm Fst, SL).

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MANCHESTER CITY


Story so far
A new manager, new aims and, possibly a new era. Mark Hughes has replaced Sven Goran Eriksson and, having spent £19m on Jo, the Brazilian striker, he remains in pursuit of Ronaldinho.


Summer headache
Waiting over Ronaldinho.


Needs
Luck. Many thought Eriksson did well at Eastlands, but the thirst for success is huge at the City of Manchester Stadium.


Number crunching
25.5 - The amount in millions offered for Ronaldinho.


Transfers
In: Joao Alves de Assis Silva (left) (CSKA Moscow, £19m).
Out: Georgios Samaras (Celtic, £3m), Andreas Isaksson (PSV Eindhoven, U), Geovanni Deiderson Mauricio (Hull), Ashley Grimes (Millwall, U), Garry Breen (Hereford), Sun Jihai (Sheffield U).
Released: Michael Daly, Paul Dickov, Andrea Giombetti, Christian Mourtisen, Emile Mpenza.

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MANCHESTER UNITED


Story so far
United's summer has been dominated by departures. Sir Alex Ferguson's trusted lieutenant Carlos Queiroz has left to coach Portugal. United look strong, but the departure of Ronaldo will question their ability to retain title.


Summer headache
Cristiano Ronaldo.


Needs
Real Madrid to pull out of wanting Ronaldo. An ankle operation only clouds the issue.


Number crunching
7.8 - The salary in millions Ronaldo would earn at Real Madrid.


Transfers
In: Davide Petrucci (Roma, £200,000).
Out: Gerard Pique (Barcelona, £4m), Richie Jones (Hartlepool), Kieron Lee (Oldham), David Williams (Oldham), Tom Heaton (Cardiff, SL)
Released: Michael Barnes, Sean Evans, Chris Fagan, Michael Lea, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.

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MIDDLESBROUGH


Story so far
Gareth Southgate's stock is rising and the signings of two highly-rated youngsters, 22-year-old midfielder Didier Digard and 20-year-old winger Marvin Emnes offers optimism on Teeside, particularly after they finishied with an 8-1 thrashing of Manchester City.


Summer headache
Nothing serious. Southgate will be satisfied with proceedings.


Needs
Afonso Alves to start the way he finished the last campaign.


Number crunching
85 - Middlesbrough collected more yellow cards than any other rivals last term.


Transfers
In: Didier Digard (Paris St-Germain, £4m), Marvin Emnes (Sparta Roterdam, £3.2m).
Out: Jason Kennedy (Darlington), Fabio Rochemback (Sporting Lisbon), Mark Schwarzer (Fulham), Steve Thompson (Port Vale).
Released: Gaizka Mendieta, Dong Gook Lee.

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NEWCASTLE


Story so far
Wor Kev has already encountered problems since arriving back at St James' Park but he kept Newcastle in the Premier League and now he has to move on. Optimism may overtake reality in the build-up, though Keegan's capture of Argentine winger Jonas Gutierrez should help. Danny Guthrie did well for Bolton on loan last term, but the probable continued absence of Joey Barton only hinders preparation.


Summer headache
Joey Barton. Will he play for the Toon again?


Needs
Michael Owen to keep fit. He is still only 28 but he has started only 37 league games in the last three seasons. A full season, and goals may not be a problem for the Magpies.


Number crunching
12 - Newcastle finished 12th last term ¦#45; the third season in four outside the top 10.


Transfers
In: Jonas Gutierrez (Real Mallorca, £9m), Danny Guthrie (Liverpool, £2.5m).
Out: David Rozehnal (Lazio, £2.9m), Emre Belozoglu (Fenerbahce), Mark Cook (Hartlepool), Peter Ramage (QPR).
Released: Stephen Carr, Lamine Diatta, James Troisi

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PORTSMOUTH


Story so far
The FA Cup success and qualification for the Uefa Cup, along with plans for a new stadium, has issued in a new era on the south coast. The signing of former Pompey striker Peter Crouch will give Jermain Defoe the perfect foil, while wingers Glenn Little and Ben Sahar offer Harry Redknapp extra width.


Summer headache
Worrying when the bubble will burst.


Needs
Another striker. Defoe and Crouch should start, while Kanu is set to sign for another year but with a European campaign eating into resources another front man is required.


Number crunching
336 - The number of minutes Pompey have gone since scoring in the Premier League.


Transfers
In: Peter Crouch (Liverpool, £9m rising to £11m), Glenn Little (Reading), Ben Sahar (Chelsea, 6ML)
Out: Nicky Jordan (Hereford).
Released: Andreas Govas, Farid Hassani, Ugo Udoji.

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STOKE CITY


Story so far
Having secured promotion back to the top flight for the first time, manager Tony Pulis has had to be patient in the transfer marker. Scott Carson is set to arrive for £4m to give Stoke some confidence in goal while the club are waiting for a work permit for Jamaican midfielder Rudolph Austin.


Summer headache
More players. Otherwise, Stoke will do a Derby.


Needs
Stoke's long-ball game was suited to the Championship but they will need more bullets in their gun to fire a realistic attempt to stay in the Premier League.


Number crunching
31 - The number of years since Stoke were last in the top flight.


Transfers
In: None.
Out: Marlon Broomes (Blackpool), Russell Hoult (Notts Co)

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SUNDERLAND


Story so far
After spending heavily following his arrival last season, Roy Keane is struggling to invest. West Ham turned down a £4.5m offer for former defender and captain George McCartney on Monday while Keane faces competition from Wigan to sign Everton's Andy Johnson. But goalkeeper Colin Gordon has had a full season in the Premier League and continues to impress.


Summer headache
Signing players. Keane needs new bodies.


Needs
Kenwyne Jones was the leading League scorer last season with seven goals so the Black Cats need some luck in signing a goal-getter.


Number crunching
9 - The number of penalties conceded by Sunderland last season.


Transfers
In: None.
Out: Andrew Cole (Nottm Fst), Greg Halford (Sheffield U, SL).
Released: Billy Dennehy, Iain Harte, Jack Pelter, Jake Richardson, Stanislav Varga, Stephen Wright.

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TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR


Story so far
A year ago, Tottenham's belief that they could finish higher than Arsenal proved empty. But the Carling Cup winners have a Uefa Cup campaign to look forward to and the addition of three major signings can only improve Juande Ramos's side. Luke Modric impressed during Euro 2008 while Heurelho Gomes is regarded as one of the best goalkeepers in the world.


Summer headache
Concern over Dimitar Berbatov's future.


Needs
Another striker. Even if Berbatov stays, Spurs lost Jermain Defoe to Pompey in January and lack cover for Robbie Keane.


Number crunching
80 - The number of Premier League goals at White Hart Lane last season.


Transfers
In: Luka Modric (D Zagreb, £16.8m), Heurelho Gomes (PSV Eindhoven, £8m), Giovani dos Santos (Barcelona, £4.7m rising to £8.6m), John Bostock (Crystal Palace, £700,000 rising to £1.25m, T).
Out: Tommy Forecast (Southampton, U), Joe Martin (Blackpool, U), Simon Dawkins (Leyton Orient, 6ML), Jake Livermore (Crewe, 6ML), Leigh Mills (Brentford, SL).
Released: Jamie Davis, Radwan Hamed, Chris Riley.

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WEST BROM


Story so far
Tony Mowbray has had a busy summer, adding his sixth close-season signing yesterday with the acquisition of Slovakian left-back Marek Cech, from Porto. Another defender, 21-year-old Dutchman Gianni Zuiverloon joins Luke Moore at the back. And in Do-heon Kim they have signed the "Asian Paul Scholes".


Summer headache
Losing Kevin Phillips to Birmingham.


Needs
Somebody to score. Phillips rejected a one-year deal in preference to two years at St Andrews, so the 22-goalscorer needs replacing.


Number crunching
49 - The number of times newcomer Do-heon Kim has represented South Korea.


Transfers
In: Gianni Zuiverloon (Heerenveen, £3.2m), Luke Moore (Aston Villa, £3m rising to £3.5m), Roman Bednar (Hearts, £2.3m), Marek Cech (Porto, £1.4m), Do-heon Kim (Seongnam Ilhwa Shunma, £500,000), Graham Dorrans (Livingston, £100,000 rising to £250,000).
Out: Curtis Davies (Aston Villa, £8m), Martin Albrechtsen (Derby), Zoltan Gera (Fulham), Stefan Morrison (Swansea), Kevin Phillips (Birmingham), Luke Steele (Barnsley).
Released: Jack Compton, Michael Nardiello.

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WEST HAM


Story so far
It's been a quiet summer at Upton Park with manager Alan Curbishley adding only youngster Holmar Orn Eyjolfsson, the son of former Iceland manager Eyjolfur Gjafar Sverrisson. Curbishley has been told to reduce the wage bill so few newcomers are expected.


Summer headache
The fitness of Craig Bellamy and Kieron Dyer.


Needs
The squad to keep clear of injuries. At any given moment last season, Curbishley was without a team of unavailable players.


Number crunching
8 - The number of clean sheets kept by the Hammers last term.


Transfers
In: Holmar Orn Eyjolfsson (HK Kopavogur, U).
Out: Christian Dailly (Rangers), Ben Hunt (Bristol R).

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WIGAN ATHLETIC


Story so far
Steve Bruce kept the Latics in the Premier League last season and has turned, again, to a former Birmingham player, taking Olivier Kapo to the JJB Stadium yesterday after previously signing Daniel de Ridder, also from St Andrews. Bruce brought consistency to Wigan but faces another test of his capabilities to keep Wigan up.


Summer headache
Losing Marcus Bent.


Needs
A striker. Marcus Bent was leading scorer while on loan from Charlton last season. He scored just seven.


Number crunching
34 - Only Derby scored fewer Premier League goals last term.


Transfers
In: Olivier Kapo (Birmingham, £3.5m), Daniel de Ridder (Birmingham).
Out: Andreas Granqvist (Gronigen, £795,000), Julius Aghahowa (Kayserispor), Salomon Olembe (Kayerispor).
Released: Peter Moore, Russell Saunders, Josip Skoko.

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SOURCE :

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/main.jhtml?xml=/sport/2008/07/16/nosplit/sfnclub116.xml