The Bride Tells Her Husband On Honeymoon...

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK sweetheart!! Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison."

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY???!!!

Bill Gates In Hell

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory.

St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".

So, Bill takes a look at hell and sees these beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches.

Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps and singing and worship and stuff like that.

So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.

About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him, being whipped by demons.

He said to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautifull women, and the beaches and the 80 degree temperature?”

Peter replied, “That was just the screen saver.”

How do I hide my IP address?

The most common method to hide your IP address is to use a proxy server in one form or another. A proxy server is a computer that offers a computer network service to allow clients to make indirect network connections to other network services. A client connects to the proxy server, then requests a connection, file, or other resource available on a different server. The proxy provides the resource either by connecting to the specified server or by serving it from a cache. In some cases, the proxy may alter the client's request or the server's response for various purposes. There are several implementations of proxy servers that you can use to hide your IP address (in an attempt to remain anonymous on the internet):

Website Based Proxy Servers
A Website based proxy server is a website that provides a form for you to enter the URL of a website that you wish to anonymously visit. When you submit the form the website proxy server makes a request for the page that you want to visit. The machine usually does not identify itself as a proxy server and does not pass along your IP address in the request for the page. The features of these sites vary (ad blocking, javascript blocking, etc) as does their price. Some are free and some charge.

Browser Configured Proxy Servers
There are also stand along proxy servers that allow for you to configure your browser to route your browser traffic through that machine, which then makes a request for a page on your behalf, and then sends you the results. These are usually used at no cost to the user. Since they are accessible to the public these are often quite slow.

Installed Software Proxy Servers
There are a variety of companies and software packages available at either a one time cost or at an annual subscription. These are usually faster and more reliable than the above proxy servers.